


Until it Breaks

by somali77



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Beginnings, Casual Sex, Coming Out, Developing Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Issues, M/M, Masturbation, Sex Toys, Sexual Inexperience, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2019-08-14 08:15:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 4,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16488965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somali77/pseuds/somali77
Summary: Kuroo really wants to try some fantasies out discreetly, Ooikawa needs a special itch scratched- and at first everything´s really casual. Until things are drifting a bit out of hand...





	1. Chapter 1

~

 

It was a sex thing. 

Noone knew. 

 

Oikawa opened his lips, eyes glued to the laptop screen on top of the bed. He tried swallowing around the thick and intrusive thing again, tried to ignore the weird plastic taste and gagged hard about two seconds later. Frustrated, he threw the pink dildo across his room´s carpet, where it bounced and tumbled away in an awkward jiggle. 

Inside clenched fists, his fingernails bit into the soft flesh of palms. He whispered a nasty curse.  
Then he reached for the toy once more, plucked some lint from the tip, made a face of annoyance and opened his mouth wide again. 

He couldn´t let himself be defeated by literally every porn star on the goddamned internet. 

He was a king after all. 

 

~


	2. Chapter 2

~

 

„Are you even listening?!“, Bokuto huffed. 

„Mmmmh“, Kuro´s eyes were glued to the screen of his smartphone, „Yeah, you´re not sure about bottoming or how that´ll affect your pitch, but, actually... how about you discuss that with your actual partner, bro? ´cause I don´t think I can help.“

„Did Kenma infect you with that?“, Bokuto reached for the phone to try and snatch it away- Kuroo lifted it out of reach. „Cut it.“, he growled. 

„What? Girlfriend?“

„Something like that.“

„Boyfriend?“, Bokuto tried to take a look, causing Kuroo to turn to a different position to avoid exactly that. 

„It´s complicated.“

„I bet, man! Is it that blonde dude from Karasuno?“

„No comment.“

„Dude, he´s too young for you! Don´t say it´s Kenma, I´m worried you might have some shota- complex going on, you know?“

„Bokuto... shut your cake hole, man, that´s not even funny.“

„I´m not being funny, I´m being concerned!“

„Yeah yeah“, Kuroo stood up to leave the gymn, in the hope of finding more privacy. 

„„Yeah yeah“ means: „Kiss my ass“!“, Bokuto yelled after him, „Don´t make a promise you´re not prepared to keep, baby!“

 

~


	3. Chapter 3

~

 

„To be honest“, ssslut108 typed under the suggestion to meet in person, „I´ve never done something like that. For real, I mean. I´m not sure I could even stay serious. It feels too ridiculous.“

„Yeah“, DaddyCat answered, eyes focused on the small screen, „Got it. You like to stay safe.“

„I´m just too fucking stubborn to be topped in real life, I guess. I mean, there is someone. If -he- wanted to kick me around, I´d kiss his feet, probably. But he always talks about getting a girlfriend. I just don´t fucking know what to do, if I think too hard about it, this just drives me up the walls.“

Kuroo slowly licked his lower lip in deep concentration. His thumb twitched across the letters: „What exactly are you looking for?“

„I … guess I just need to try it out once. A session. It´ll probably be horrible and scare me away forever, so I can quit being such a fucking emotional mess and focus on primary goals instead.“

„You seem like a very determined person.“

There was a pause in rhythm. Then, after a minute: 

„You damn sure bet I am.“

 

~


	4. Chapter 4

~

 

„Holy shit“, Oikawa breathed, „It´s really you. What the fuck.“

He pulled the metal chair with a screeching noise across the asphalt and sat down on it.

 

„Hello Oikawa“, Kuroo sipped on his iced coffee, „Please place your order and pay for yourself, I´m a bit low on cash recently.“

Oikawa forced a laugh.  
„Really“, he snatched the coffee shop menu from it´s metal holder, „This´s got to be the worst date ever.“

„It´s just fair. We´re even.“, Kuroo lifted his shoulders and then got straight to the point. „Starting out on eye level sounds like a good idea though, doesn´t it.“  
„... ´suppose so...“

„So... this is purely a sex thing?“  
„Well... I´m pretty sure it is.“

„And noone else knows?“  
„I fucking hope they don´t.“, Oikawa breathed. Once, deeply, slowly, leaning forward on the table: „So... You´re the other pervert, huh?“

Kuroo nodded, solemnly: „I´m the other pervert.“  
„That´s sick.“

 

He flashed the sweetest, most innocent smile he could muster:  

„I´ll take that as a compliment!“

 

~


	5. Chapter 5

~

 

Back in the privacy of his own room, Oikawa breathed hard into his pillow.

He was quiet when pleasuring himself, even as he got more and more aggressive, lately.

Soundless, hushed, always. As quiet as he could.

 

Even when he forced the pink dildo into his body with punishing force.  
The tip was flared and plump and it kinda hurt, but sheer determination just made that more of a thrill.  
He could do it. He would do it.

He was the grand master of challenging himself.

As he pushed in and out, at some point it got easier. A queasy, strange feeling made his thights twitch, numbing lust made his breaths shorter and quicker, along with the pushs and pulls of his wrist.

 

„Eat it, Trashykawa“, Iwaizumi growled in his mind, pounding into him with all power he could muster, „You just lift your ass and let yourself get fucked like the bitch you are.“

 

He licked his lips, pressing them tightly together.  
Palming his own erection, he started to jack himself off in a frenzied motion, while still fucking himself with the sextoy. An image of Kuroo in the coffeeshop flickered through his brain: a spark of memory, narrow eyes, long fingers and a lazy, knowing smile:

„Your dirty fantasies“, he said, „I need to know about some of them. Therefore, you´ll need to write me a journal.“

Oikawa ripped a small hole into the fabric beneath him with his teeth when he came. He felt strange. Shaky. Raw.  
The thought of how Kuroo´s fingers would feel, dancing all over his skin, throbbed inside of his mind.

 

He didn´t know yet if all of this would prove to be a good thing - or a very, very bad idea.

 

~


	6. Chapter 6

~

 

„Dear stupid, patronizing half- furry idiot:

 

  1. hard sex

  2. oral

  3. anal




 

I hope you´re happy with that. Fucker.“

 

~

 


	7. Chapter 7

~

 

„My dearest slut108,

I can see you tried your best being as specific as possible <3 I am very proud. Anyway, how do you feel about masturbating to orgasm in the boys bathroom at school now and texting me as soon as you´ve completed this task for today? I want you to stop your time and inform me precisely of 1. how long it took you to cum, to the milisecond please, and 2. what exactly you came on, with picture if possible. Much love and plz don´t be afraid to speak up if you´re having any troubles or thinking this might still be too extreme for now <3“

 

Oikawa stoped dead in his track, making Iwaizumi bump into him at full force.

 

„What are you doing?!“, he yelled, slapping the back of his head with a well practised whack,

  
„Watch your step, airhead!“  
   
~


	8. Chapter 8

~

 

„58 seconds 37.“, said the message that lit up the insides of his sports bag.

Kuroo´s grin widened and he picked up his phone as the noise of the gymn behind him flooded space between wooden walls with the waves of shouts, screetching shoes and the hollow, dull smacks of the volleyballs. 

„Handfull of toilet paper, flushed down immediately.  
Will NOT send you pictures, do you have any idea of how much of a risk THAT would be? Don´t make me look stupid!“  
„I won´t, no worries. Did it make you feel hot, though?“

No reply.  
Read immediately, but no reply.  
His brows furrowed.  
„Was it good?“, he added, more doubtful.

 

„Hey Kuroo“, Kenma was shifting the ball from one hand to the other, approaching him with a curious glance, „It´s your turn again... also, hey-... you sure you still want to come and play mario kart at my place tonight, after training?“

 

He looked up, quickly hiding the screen of his smartphone against his chest:  
„Uh. Yeah, sure thing, buddy! Was looking forward to that all week!“

„Alright-... I just thought-...“, Kenma´s quick glance went away to the side, to Kuroo´s phone and away again, „You don´t have to force it. If you´re, you know, otherwise occupied, I´ll just-...“

„No! Hey, what in the world could ever be more important?“, he threw the phone back into his open bag, wrapping an arm around the smaller one´s shoulder, pressing his cheek into the two- colored hair affectionally,  
„You´ve always been first priority here, remember?“

„Yeah- well, I know. But“, Kenma stood frozen, finally meeting his gaze directly and lowering his voice to a whisper:

„But-... Kuroo. You´re distracted. Only come if you´re not compromising... okay?“

He passed the ball.  
Kuroo, dumbstruck, caught it. He blinked. 

„Got it“, he muttered, before finally picking up the pace of the game, resuming his place on the field again. 

 

In the darkness of his sports bag, his smartphone lit up with a single new message: 

„Yes“

 

~


	9. Chapter 9

~

 

„How did you know you were into … this?“

 

„Junior High. Wanted to play cops and robbers all the time. Always thought playing a good guy was hella lame, too. How about you?“

 

„Bondage scenes in movies. Remember Disney´s Aladdin? One of my favourite movies when I was a kid. This scene where Aladdin´s shackled up in the dungeon, topless, squirming, with arms up above his head? Pushed so many buttons, even when I still didn´t know what to do with all that... my poor, little, innocent heart was racing, I fantasized about being a prison guard in that movie, just so I could take care of him... First movie scene that made me realize that my taste might be a bit... special. Lots of books and movies with shackled dudes followed.“

 

„So... you´re into bondage?“

 

„Yeah. You´re more into roleplay, you think?“

 

„I … guess so.“

 

Oikawa bit his lip, before typing:  
„Today...“, he started, hesitating, then sending more: „That was... interesting.“

„Yeah. I really liked that you just... went with it. That was cool! You like following orders?“  
„Not all the time.“

 

At his desk, there was a framed picture of his volleyball team. He had his arm thrown around Iwaizumi, both of them grinning like the stupid dorks they were. Looking at that, he felt a pang of anguish inside of his chest.

 

„Hey“, he typed via messenger,  
„Can we meet and play for real, soon, you think? I want to-... actually do something, tbh. Touch... someone for real.“

„Sure...", Kuroo replied almost instantly, „I´ll try and think about some possibilities and send you the possible dates/destinations. Cool with you?“

„Do it.“

 

„Allright. Don´t forget about your kinky dream journal, my dearest, little slave108~ <3!"

„Ugh. Yeah yeah, no need to remind me."

 

„I´m really looking forward to read it~..."

„It´s "slut", btw."

„ ... ?"

„It´s "ssslut108" not "ssslave108."

 

 

"... SHIT!!!! >o<"

 

  
~


	10. Chapter 10

~

 

„Dear illiterate, fuzzy critter- patron who can´t even remember my name,  
with much regards and joy I present to you the update of my wonderful kinky journal:

 

1\. The scene at school was nice, I admit, but maybe it helped that I. bumped into and hit me just after I´ve read it. Glad that he´s never spotted any awkward boner of mine before. Or maybe he has and always chose to ignore it. Anyways. I guess the time I´ve sent you tells you enough about that... which brings me to:  
2\. I liked that you were being so specific with orders. That... helped. I think.  
3\. Thanks for giving me an opt- out. I mean, I could ttly tell you were provoking me into doing it with all your condescending „iF itS not Too MucH foR yoU“- sweet talk, and admittedly, that really worked like a spell, but it was still kinda nice to know that we´d be okay if I just said: fuck this. Because it WAS a bit unsettling at first... I didn´t think you´d do that at school. Made me panic a bit, tbh.

Allright, now I´ve filled all three numbers with stuff you probably could have guessed before. Surprise!

Do you have any real experience with sex btw, DaddyCat? Would prefer it if any of us had some clue about what was about to go down and not just wisdom straight out of their sister´s yaoi comics...

PS: I also hope next time we´re meeting somewhere for a date, you´ll pay for my drink~ <3 Asshole! <3 And ask me if I happened to want some cake, too. That´s how you should treat such a wonderful, precious submissive person like me, allright? Consider yourself kicked against your imagined shin <3 Hugs & kisses,

<3 ssssssssssssslut108 <3“

 

~


	11. Chapter 11

~

 

„You have what?“, Bokuto screeched. 

 

„A sex- date. Kinda. Calm down, I just asked you which brand of lube you were using.“

The air in gymns always had such a special smell to it. Not just bad, not just like sweaty teenagers, but definitely like determination.  
Like hard work and wild hopes and unresolved sexual tension.

 

„You´re not even out of High School yet and you´re having SEX DATES?!“

 

„Bokuto! Come on, man! We´ll be totally safe, using condoms and stuff, and... now what did you say worked best? Just in case.“

„We use x-factory super glide... but man! Really?! You should be having cute dates and go to some amusement park or the aquarium instead of setting up ugly, impersonal sex- dates! There really is a old, perverted man living inside of your frontal lobe, is there?“

„Yeah... you know what?“, Kuroo sighed, defenseless, „I agree. I mean, I could do with more romance and stuff. But we´re not even actually dating, so that might be inappropriate? Also, technically it was his idea, I just kinda went along with it?“

Bokuto stared at him, volleyball still in hand. 

 

„You´re not even - dating - but you want to have sex?“

„Yeah-... see, it´s difficult. I understand. It´s not like a lot of people are out at our schools!  
It´s a conservative area... Classmates may react in a strange way, even if you think you´ve known them before. He wants to have sex before he´s leaving for college, if I deny him he might be going to town and sleep with some random guy at a club?“

 

„So your motives are completely selfless“, Akaashi, approaching from the other side of the net now, was not buying it, „What do you get out of this?

 

Kuroo rubbed the back of his neck. 

„It... may be sort a kink thing“, he murmured. 

 

„A king thing?!“, Bokuto´s bulging eyes made him look more like an owl than ever before. 

 

Kuroo laughed. 

„Yeah“, he snorted, „That too.“

 

~


	12. Chapter 12

~

 

„Dear, oh great king of all 108 sssssluts, whoever they might be,

(they probably lisp, do you think they still have all their front teeth? I´m concerned)

I love that we seem to get a bit more comfortable around each other, at least, you know, hypothetically. But as we´re probably both a bit nervous still, I want to assure you that whatever you want to be happening, I´ll try my best to keep you safe. Okay? I´ll just need you to try being as honest as possible. I´ll do the same, of course. 

Here are some dates for possible meetings at my place- maybe you could make it a weekend trip or we could try and meet up somewhere in the middle? 

Since you´ve told me a lot about yourself already, I´ll tell you something about me in return (just to be fair): 

1\. What I really like and admire is this readyness of yours to tackle new things head first and just go with it- Even if it´s sudden and unexpected and possibly really awkward: you do it, and that´s really cool. Thank you for trusting me with this.  
2\. I might like to challenge your tendency for topping from the bottom some, because I think that might not be what you´re really looking for, BUT we´ll need to be very clear about this, since it might dip into dub-con-play somewhen in the future. Let´s just talk about how we should handle such situations. We´ll still need to see how things work out when we´re face to face, of course...  
3\. You´re investing quite a bit, which tells me that you´re serious. Don´t worry about not being sure if you´ve told me enough. Tell as much as you´re feeling ready to. It´s all good. 

Speaking of which: Yes, I´ve actually had anal sex before, if that´s what you´re referring to (I don´t like the term „real sex“ tbh, because in my opinion the only sexy time not to be qualified as „real sex“ should be UNREAL sex, where it´s so good that it blows your mind right into outer space.) Let´s not rush things though and see what the mood brings. No pressure. (Some yaoi manga aren´t that wrong, by the way) 

And as much as I agree that you are, indeed, worthy of all the best, it doesn´t change the fact that I don´t have a reliable source of income yet, at least not excessevely so, and my moral code forbids turning to questionable methods for getting more money fast (like, robbing a bank or renting a camper to cook crystal meth in). So, because I know for a fact, that you are in no way poorer than me, (quite the opposite, I suppose) I´ll have to stand by the desicion that we split the bills for now.  
I don´t apprecciate violence against my person, by the way... not even virtually.  
Even if you were just being anxious and trying to deflect some tension- I wish you´d apologize and try talking about your feelings instead. How about we try doing that?

Sincerely,  
DaddyCat“

 

~


	13. Chapter 13

~

 

Kenma´s room was the one place that felt most like home in the whole wide world. 

Kenma himself sat there in dim lighting, eyes fixed on his game, thumbs sliding smoothly across the controler, socked feet propped up on the couch table, while Kuroo stretched like a big cat in his bean bag, long legs thrown snugly over the other boy´s lap, crunching on some spicy rice crackers. 

 

„And that´s how I wrote him this long- ass message and he never replied again!“, he complained through a mouthful of crumbs. 

 

Kenma made a „tsk“- sound that sounded disapproving. His face didn´t change an inch. 

„Bad slave“, he said with his very soft, very low voice, and Kuroo´s eyes lit up to watch him in dim, flickering light while the sounds of the game music trickled melodiously from speakers. 

 

„Slut“, he corrected him. 

Kemnas ears blushed.  
He glanced up from his game: „What?“

 

„His username“, Kuroo nodded slowly, „It´s slut not slave.“

 

„Well... then... I don´t know, maybe your message wasn´t slutty enough.“

 

Kuroo sighed, raking strong fingers trough messy black hair:  
„Or maybe he pouts because I made it clear that I won´t be paying for his snacks and entertainment even though he explicitly asked me to.“

„You´re not?“, Kenma made a mockingly shocked face, „How could you?“

„No!“, Kuroo exclaimed, grabbing the fat cat plushie next to him and squeezing it in his hands,  
„I want to go to university around here, I´ll need all my savings- with all the volleyball and prep school I can´t go around waiting tables or running shifts at the 7/11 on top of it- I´m a poor student, I can´t afford paying double prices!“

 

„You always pay for my bubble tea when we´re at the mall. And didn´t you just buy yourself those amazing new sneakers?“

Kuroo slumped back into the beanbag, plucking at the fat cat plushie´s ears:  
„That´s different and yeah, that might be part of the problem.“

 

Kenma chuckled. It was a happy, playful sound that touched places in Kuroo´s heart and mind and made him feel all soft inside:  
„I say you deserve each other, you´re both total dicks.“

 

„Hey!“

 

~


	14. Chapter 14

~

 

„Dear overly nosey wannabe- furry father, 

The sluts might have lost some of their front teeth, indeed. I heard they´ve been playing some seriously violent volleyball.

 

PS: Third date you´ve sent me might work. I´ll come by train. See you then.  
PPS: I´m sorry. Please teach me the ways of behaving better, grand master.“

 

~


	15. Chapter 15

~

 

„You have to help me“

Kuroo stood outside Kenma´s front door in the middle of a pouring rain, drenched and breathless and absolutely desperate. 

„With what?“, the smaller one lifted his foot to scratch the lower leg he was standing on with his toes, eyes narrowing suspiciously.

„He´s coming“, Kuroo gasped, „He´s actually doing it! Which means -I- will be actually doing it, too, and it suddenly hit me that I don´t feel ready, at all! It´s the first time I have an official kink date, it´s the first time I have a potential SUB over! God Kenma - what if I fuck it up?“

Kenma gave him a look. Then he stepped back. 

„Come in“, he said softly, with the hint of a smile on his lips: „You´re an idiot.“

 

~


	16. Chapter 16

~

 

Everything was so easy with Kenma. 

He brought out a towel and said that it was okay to use his shampoo for showering. Kuroo changed in the extra sports clothes he was carrying with him, his own clothes were being tumble dried. 

And back in Kenma´s room there were soft, colored ropes from the hidden box underneath his bed. Slowly everything trickled back into all the right places. 

Kuroo felt himself relax while he watched Kenma´s skilled hands at work, felt the lines of rope grasping hold of him, cradling him, hugging him tightly.  
He took a deep breath, let it out again. 

„Thank you“, he mumbled. 

„First: You´re welcome, and second: It´s okay, really.“ 

Kenma shrugged, focused on the task of where he should put the rope next, „Everyone would freak out if they were to top Oikawa of all people...“

„I told him I´ve done anal before“, Kuroo admitted, „Which is true, but I haven´t really done domination before. I mean, with someone I don´t really know... I mean, in a kinky way. I´m technically domming as a captain, you know, but it´s not exactly the same thing. And I´m looking forward to do it of course, but it freaks me out at the same time!“

Kenma shushed him gently, moving behind him to give the rope a few sharp tugs.  
Kuroo clenched his teeth:  
„It´s so sexy when you do that“, he breathed, followed by a quick: „Sorry, I didn´t mean to-...“

„It´s okay“, Kenma said, gently plucking at the strings like it was a big instrument,  
„You´re a sexual person.“

„You say that as if it´s a bad thing“, Kuroo pouted. 

„Aww, come on now. Of course it´s not. It just means that it´s probably good for both of you perverts to get your rocks off together? And for you to try your hands on him. He seems pretty needy as well?“

„I guess he didn´t name himself „slut“ for nothing...“

Kemna couldn´t hide his smile when he moved back in front of Kuroo, snapping a picture with his smartphone, then holding the screen up to show it to his friend. 

„That´s nice“, Kuroo admitted, „Feels good, too... and calms you down really quickly.“

„Yeah. So... what´s the idea? Do you want to practise on something? Go over some scene ideas? Do some role play to help you get into head space?“

„Well... actually“, Kuroo thought about it,  
„I have some ideas“, he said, „I just want to hear your opinion, or maybe-... we can practise some ways of initial approach, just so I can feel more assured?“

„Certainly.“

~


	17. Chapter 17

~

 

„Dear ssslut 106,

Glad we have an agreement. Here´s what you´re going to do: I want you to choose sexy lingerie for your trip, put it on and have it under your clothes when you arrive here. 

Looking forward to seeing you <3   
DaddyCat“

~


	18. Chapter 18

~

Oikawa slumped back in his chair when he read that. He felt his cheeks warming and let out a shaky breath. Well. The game was on.

And he was not going to back out. Now- how the hell would he get his hands on „sexy lingery“ in the first place? 

~


End file.
